Tomorrow evening, boys and girls, I make my triumphant return to my birthplace of Lakewood, NJ (I’m still waiting on that sign, Lakewood) to do a live painting of the scene from First Energy Park, home of your Lakewood Blue Claws! If you’re a baseball fan, hitting up First Energy for a Blue Claws game is always a fun night out, and tomorrow night it’s gonna be so damn good James Earl Jones himself might pop out of the cornfield to deliver a soul-stirring speech about it. I’ll be setting up my easel out on the concourse and doing what we in the art biz call a plein-air style painting of First Energy in all it’s summer finery. So, be sure to pick up some tickets, then come take a peek over my shoulder to see genius in action. Just, please do not speak to me or make eye contact. THE MASTER MUST NOT BE DISTURBED! (Just kidding. Come say hi and even shake my hand. Just don’t complain when you get paint on you.)
In addition to my breathtaking and inspiring presence, it’s also Thirsty Thursday! You can grab yourself some dollar beers and .50 cent wings. NOTHING goes better with my art than beer and wings. As if THAT weren’t enough, there will also be members of the Red Bulls signing autographs and auctioning off jerseys for those of you against using your hands in sports. (I kid, soccer fans. You know I love you.) And, get this, you’ll even have the chance to win SKYNYRD tickets. Sweet home, Alabama? Tomorrow it’s sweet home LAKEWOOD.
So there you go, kids. Stop fretting and drinking yourself to death wondering what to do tomorrow night. YOU HAVE YOUR MISSION. Get on over to First Energy park in Lakewood, NJ and have yourself more fun than the proverbial barrel full of monkeys.*
*A barrel full of monkeys is only fun in the proverbial sense. In real life it would be a nightmarish descent into a screeching and clawing hell that would haunt you for the rest of your life.